Learning is something that we do all our lives, if we are lucky enough to understand that is why we are here. It starts when we are born and possibly even in the womb. Instinctively we cry as newborns when we are hungry, tired, lonely and wet.  We learn to respond to stimuli, we make sounds as a precursor to the words that will spread love and hate. We reach for the things we want and throw the things we don’t. If you think about it we even throw the things we really did want, then we cry when we realize our mistake. We cry when we are hurt and don’t get our way. For some of us our parents are there to support us when we cry and I was one of the lucky ones that had that blessing.

We learn about relationships and interactions early on from our parents, extended family members and siblings. We start to learn in school things that will teach us to be productive human beings. The other thing that we learn during this time is social interaction with people outside our small circle of family. The relationships in school are so different for everybody. Some have a wide circle of friends and are in the ‘In crowd’ and some were outcasts, shy and victims. Insecurity can and does affect people in both groups and this is what drives us most of our lives. This is what causes our problems, this is what drives our choices. I have met many people who seem to have it all and are really good at what they do, but deep down inside they have many insecurities and it is these that block our right to happiness. I am learning about my own insecurities and I want to head off the destruction  that they have caused me.  Insecurity means not sure or certain; doubtful. This definition makes it sound so simple, wish it was!

Good grief where did this come from? How did we learn this? Didn’t God create us all equally? How many people in our lives guided us to the point that we learn to be kind or  cruel? Have attitudes of superiority? When did we forget to be grateful? Where did kindness go? Where did the love of fellow-man go?

Now what I have to learn to improve is the relationship I have with myself, as I can be my own worst enemy. I read the other day, “your world as your experience has shown to be, is based on a system of action and reaction. Of cause and consequence. Of linear perceptions based on beginnings and endings.” All this has happened to teach me that I fully participated in my own worst nightmare. I will no longer allow circumstances to ‘push my buttons’, I see that I always had a choice and I am in shock at my own blindness to all that I chose to participate in and I did it willingly. I used rationalization to justify my actions that were the direct reaction to the actions of others. Choices I made, not someone else.

I did learn years ago that we need to stay 90% in the present. Devote 5% to our future, for obvious planning and 5% to our past to learn from our mistakes.  We can’t change the past, but in the present moment we can create the life we want so that our future is everything we want it to be. Apparently I’ve spent way too much time dwelling on the issues in the past, hanging onto the anger and resentment, instead of crying like a baby I retreated into a world of avoidance of feeling, stuffing more and more until I blew, just like Mount St. Helen’s. I let anger and negativity hurt me and everyone around me. I did not stay in the present and was not being positive and grateful.

Our lives are a tapestry of our experiences, the tapestry is not set in stone and continues to change. The treads can change color or be woven in a different pattern on a whim. So if you ever feel trapped remember that you can change your tapestry with brighter colors and make positive changes. I realize that making these changes is surely not as simple as is sounds but anything worth having is worth working for. As a person that has studied natural health for 20 years I have learned that our experiences affect us at the cellular level and resonate in our aura’s. This affects our overall well-being as much as the quality of food that we put in our mouth everyday. It changes our physical tapestry as well, with weight, graying of our hair, wrinkles and disease.

So will your aura attract more of the same or will it attract a brighter light? The choice is yours, always.