What a difference a day makes! Each day brings new miracles to be grateful for!
I will always be amazed at the twists and turns that life takes. I know that this is the year that I would have lost a lot of money in Vegas! Why you ask…I fell hopelessly in love with my husband many years ago, really enjoyed every minute with him no matter what we were doing and never thought that we would have any walls between us or any major problems that we couldn’t easily work out. Well when the year started things were so different, for months this became a very strained relationship that was utterly devastating to me to say the least. I honestly believed that it was all my fault that I was doing something so very wrong but really couldn’t put my finger on just what that was. But by the first of March 1st would have bet the farm that: 1) I would have been divorced, 2) I would have moved to NYC, 3) I would be partying till dawn everyday, 4) I would never fall in love again let alone every get married again.
Well shucky darn…I would have lost all my money. I was packed, ready to go and I remember clearly the night my husband asked me to please stay and try to work on this relationship? I was amazed to say the least, since he had made it clear that he didn’t want to work on it just a few days before. Talk about confusion!.I decided to stay on the advice of my son (he’s smart as a whip), he said, “If you don’t try you will spend the rest of your life wondering ‘what if’.” Geez that would have been another problem and aren’t there enough already.
I did decide to stay and it’s been WORK, don’t you just hate 4 letter words! Sometimes the work is exhausting and there have been many times I wanted to run away, it took determination, great patience and faith to stay. I’ve done a lot of interpersonal WORK this year and the outcome was learning to be more compassionate, forgiving, peaceful. Everyday I am grateful that I am peaceful again, I am relaxed, I am hopeful and I found that I can trust again. Trust in myself and my husband. He dug deep to find out what makes him tick, bared his heart and soul with the profound honesty that only a person with courage could do. Beyond the courage and humility I again see the amazing potential of this wonderful human being realized! The potential I saw many years ago.
I am once again excited about the future. I am determined to finish school and realize my dream of becoming a Naturopathic Doctor. I am positive that the many lessons handed to me bringing me to my knees, making me reach to the deepest level, painfully gutted my insides and bringing me to where I stand today….Happy! Happy that I was given the opportunity to work on myself, happy that I stayed and happy that my future looks amazing today!
I ask that the universe brings special blessings to my therapist, Phillip, for teaching me over and over and over to live my life in the moment, not the past, not the future, although most times it was painfully hard to do, for making me verbalize each and every feeling I had and for making me feel the feeling. His faith in me to do the right thing was profound. He never had a doubt. I am also Grateful to all the people that come to my Wednesday and Saturday CoDa group for all your love, friendship and continued support. If I get off center, I know that a meeting with all of you will bring me back to center!
What a difference a day makes, when we WORK to make that day different in a positive way, the days start to add up to be a very profound life experience. Thank you!